


The One with Chandler and Joey

by avgardner1



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Couple, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Dorks in Love, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, I Love You, Idiots in Love, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Wedding, Pre-Relationship, Season/Series 04, Secret Relationship, Sex, True Love, Wedding, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-19 07:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14232186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avgardner1/pseuds/avgardner1
Summary: What if Chandler and Joey hooked up in London, and Monica never broken up with Richard? This is an alternate story starting with the end of season 4 of Friends.





	1. The One With Ross' Wedding

Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes bursting through the front door, causing them to look up at her.

“Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!!” Monica rambled in a state of panic before running across the hall back to her apartment, slamming the door behind her.

“Six-hour trip to London,” Chandler said sarcastically to Joey. “That’s a lot of Monica.”

Joey nods in agreement as they continue packing for the trip to London, England.

They finish packing and Joey is getting all excited like a little child going on his first trip with his family, not noticing that he is forgetting anything important.

“It’s all London, baby!” Joey said excitedly taking out his camera and held it in his hands. “Here we go.”

Joey takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls’ apartment.

“You got your passport?” Chandler questions his best friend, in an very annoyed tone that Joey dismisses.

“Yeah, in my third drawer on my dresser,” Joey explains, putting his camera away. “You don’t want to lose that.”

Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesn’t know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.

“Ohh!!” Joey realizes and runs to his room.

Chandler huffs and rolls his eyes, “There it is.”

* * *

 

The gang arrives safely on the airplane in London, England for Ross and Emily’s wedding. Monica goes with Ross to the hotel to meet Emily and check in to the hotel rooms. Joey forcibly takes Chandler along with him on a tour of London. Chandler is visibly embarrassed by Joey’s childlike behaviour and actions. It’s honestly like hanging out with a 30 year old man-child.

They are on the Street in front of the London Marriott. Joey is carrying a video camera and is shooting Chandler.  
  
“Come on!” Joey said holding the camera in front of Chandler. “Do something!”

Chandler glances at Joey with the video camera and sighed both humiliated and embarrassed. This couldn't be happening. A 30 year old acting like a small child pointing a camera in his face. He looked around him and people are whispering as well as staring. He was already having a lousy day but did Joey have to make things even worse?  
  
“I am, I’m ignoring you,” Chandler said looking in another direction, putting his hands deep in his pockets. He is surprised that Joey still didn't notice his annoyment already.  
  
“Okay, here!” Joey replied excitedly shoving the camera in Chandler’s hands. “I wanna be the on camera guy. All right, first stop, Westminster Abbey.” Joey folds out his "pop-up" map of London. All of the major landmarks pop-up like in a pop-up book.  
  
“Oh, what the hell is that?” Chandler snapped while holding the camera.  
  
“It’s London, baby!” Joey announces as Chandler scoffs and rolls his eyes. Seriously, one more _London, baby_ remark and Joey is going to have a hard time walking when he trips him over. “All right, the hotel’s here.” Points to the map, starting to get confused and lost about where they currently are. “Wait. No, we wanna go… No. I know.” Sets the map down. “I’m gonna have to go into the map.”

Of course. Joey literally steps onto the map. Chandler turns around pretending not to know him, then he sees a couple people laughing and pointing. Chandler groans. How can Joey be so oblivious to his embarrassing behaviour?  
  
“Okay, if you see a little version of me in there, kill it!” Chandler snaps sarcastically annoyed and getting fed up with Joey’s nonsense.  
  
“I got it!” Joey announces excitedly like a child. He picks up the map and starts walking. “Here we go.”

Chandler scoffs, beginning to trail behind him. Is this what all day in London is going to be like? Joey consistently humiliating him in public? How can Joey not notice the attention he’s attracting, and oblivious to his embarrassment?  
  
“Okay. Listen-listen, we’re not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?” Chandler asked, worried that there will be more of this nonsense.  
  
“Shhh!” Joey hissed at his best friend and goes back to the tourist map. He stares at it blankly for a moment before continuing, “Man, you made me lose it!”

He steps on the map again. Chandler groans and turns around.

* * *

 

Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of London and are approaching the Westminster Abbey.  
  
“All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey I’ve ever seen. Hey!” Joey said happily holding the video camera in his hands, then pushes Chandler in front of the camera. “Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?”

“I think it’s great. It’s great,” Chandler replied very irritated. “Y’know, they’re thinking of changing the name of this place.”  
  
“Really?” Joey asks, surprised, still filming an annoyed Chandler. “To what?”  
  
“To Put the Camera Away!!!” Chandler shouted in a sarcastic, rude tone, pushing the camera away from him. Joey glares at Chandler, finally catching on a little bit to his irritation.  
  
“Man, you are Westminster Crabby,” Joey snaps back as Chandler huffs. He starts chasing Chandler towards the Abbey.

* * *

 

A park in London, Joey and Chandler walk up to a souvenir stand.  
  
“Hey!” Joey announces excitedly like a child as Chandler scoffs, trailing behind him, wishing Joey would learn to grow up and act like an adult for once.

“So, what are you guys in the market for?” The Vender asked. “We’ve got uh, scarves, tulip postcards…”  
  
“Check this out? Huh?” Joey said picking up a big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it. He grows enthusiastic about the hat. “Yeah. That’s the stuff. What do you think?”

“Well, I don’t have to buy that, "I’m with stupid" T-shirt anymore,” Chandler said sarcastically, folding his arms. Joey rolls his eyes, getting tired of Chandler’s stuck up attitude.  
  
“Well, I like it,” Joey said dismissing the rude comment. “Here you go.”

Joey pays for the hat.

“All right, look, you’re not really gonna buy that are you?” Chandler asked, finally letting off some steam, because that hat looked absolutely ridiculous. “Don’t you think you’ve embarrassed me enough for one day?”

Joey looks at Chandler both upset and hurt, “Oh, I embarrass you?”  
  
“How can I answer that when I’m pretending I don’t know you?” Chandler snaps back. He finally had enough of Joey’s childish nonsense. “All right, look, if you insist on wearing that, in public, y’know, you’re gonna spend the rest of the afternoon all by yourself.”  
  
“Oh yeah?” Joey responded annoyed, while putting the hat on. “If you’re gonna make me choose between you and the hat? I choose the hat.”  
  
“Okay, wait. All right, that’s it, okay, I’m out of here. I am not going to be embarrassed anymore!” Chandler shouted as he turns around and trips over a box, falls into a flower stand and walks away trying to be cool.

* * *

 

Chandler checks into the hotel room he and Joey are sharing and went straight to watching TV on his bed. God, he is having such a lousy day. Then he starts to realize that maybe he was being a bit rude to Joey, and feels guilty for it. After all, he didn't really embarrass him that much. Joey’s well, Joey. Just because he’s not having a good day doesn't mean he needed to take it out on Joey.

Later, Joey returns to the hotel room still wearing the hat.

“Hey,” Joey greets his friend.  
  
“Hey,” Chandler said before nodding at the hat.  
  
“Oh,” Joey said offended, then takes off the hat. He rolls his eyes, “Sorry.”  
  
“No-no-no, y’know what, I really shouldn’t have said that you were embarrassing me, I mean that really wasn’t cool,” Chandler admitted, apologizing for being rude to him earlier today. He really did feel guilty for ruining part of the trip. That really wasn't fair to Joey. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’ve had a really lousy day.”  
  
“Me too,” Joey lied.  
  
“Yeah?” Chandler half smiles.  
  
“Noo, I’ve had the best day ever!” Joey announces excitedly before running over to Chandler and dismisses his depression. “Dude, check this out!”

Monica enters their hotel room.

“Hey!” She greets.  
  
“Sh-shh-shh!” Joey motions for her to watch something he has taped.

* * *

 

Later on, Joey calls Phoebe to check in and see how everything is going back in New York and how the birds are doing. They are having a pleasant telephone conversation until Phoebe asks Joey if he’s homesick yet.  
  
“No, I don’t think so,” Joey replied, starting to think about New York, the birds, foosball, and the coffee shop. He is seriously questioning if he is homesick.  
  
_“All right, the seven of us miss you.”_  
  
“Who’s seven?” Joey asks confused over the phone.  
  
_“Y’know, me, Rachel, the birds, the babies…”_  
  
“Ahh, the babies miss me?” Joey responded, trying to sound happy as he can be.  
  
_There is a knock on Monica and Rachel’s door._  
  
“Ooh, the pizza guys here!”  
  
“What?” Joey said, shocked, starting to miss New York even more. “You ordered pizza without me?!”

 _“Yeah. But y’know we were thinking about you, y’know we ordered the Joey Special.”_  
  
“Two pizzas?!” Joey said in clarification, absolutely flabbergasted that he isn’t there having pizza for dinner too.  
  
_“Yep! Okay, gotta go, talk to you later.”_  
  
“Wait, well, where did you get it from?!” Joey tried to ask, feeling left out now.  
  
Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, he’s happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.

* * *

 

Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents. Ross greets them and things take an awkward turn when Emily’s parents show up, and meet the Gellers. Monica and Ross find this whole situation really embarrassing and awkward.

Monica turns around and sees Richard walk through the door. He took a later plane because he had a bunch of work he needed to do before he could leave. She gets so excited that she runs straight to him and kisses him.

“You made it!” Monica announces before lowering her voice down. “Thank god. I needed some excuse to get away from my parents and the Walthams.”

Richard chuckles, “Well, it looks like I made it just in time then.”

“I’ll show you to our table!” Monica said grabbing his hand and pulled him along as Richard smiles broadly.

  
Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out and offers Joey an appetizer.

“Sir?”  
  
“What’s in it?” Joey asked.  
  
“Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and pancetta,” the waiter explains to Joey who looks down disgustingly at the food.  
  
“That’s not food...No, I don’t, no…” Joey said feeling homesick, missing everybody and everything in New York. He swells with tears and taps Chandler on the shoulder to get his attention. “Everything's different here...I want to go home.”

Chandler looks sympathetic at his best friend, who is acting like a child at his very first sleepover and getting cold feet, having high anxiety.

“I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I can’t even remember what Phoebe looks like.”  
  
“Joey, it’s been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay,” Chandler said trying to support and counsel Joey in the best way he could. “Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.”  
  
Joey pouts and points at Chandler acting immature and childish, “You're different here too. You’re mean in England!”

Chandler rolls his eyes and folds his arms as Joey pouts even more, turning away from him.

Latee on, the rehearsal starts for the dinner ceremony. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, Richard, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.

“I’d like to toast, Ross and Emily,” Chandler starts, and adds in some of his humor because he is really nervous speaking publicly. “Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will,” Chandler chuckles but notices that no one in the room is laughing. Chandler takes a deep breath and he starts to get flustered. “Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend.”

Ross is embarrassed and a little humiliated that Chandler would bring past girlfriends up at his wedding. That really wasn't appropriate and it was very awkward for him.

“...And I thought things were going to work out for him… Until the day he over inflated her,” Chandler makes another joke and he laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs. Chandler realizes he just made the biggest fool of himself in front of everyone and blushes feeling sick in the stomach. “Ohh, Dear God…” He struggles to finish his speech. “And I’m sure we’re all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall.”

Chandler chuckles at his own sarcastic comment and he notices that he didn't get a single reaction from the audience. His face turns beet red and feels very embarrassed now.

“Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Let's make a Deal!! Come on, you people!!” Chandler said very frustrated that none of his jokes were funny to anyone else. “All right, forget it. Congratulations, Ross and Emily.”

Chandler struggles to sit back down while Joey puts his hands on his shoulders to help him back down to his seat. Joey stands up to give his best man speech.  
  
“Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani,” Joey begins trying not to let his homesick emotions take over his speech. “Now I’m not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name…” Joey starts to get off track, letting his emotions take over his speech, but snaps himself out of it before it turns awkward. “Well anyway, I love you guys.” Pointing at everyone. “But not as much as I love America.” Looking at Chandler in tears like a child begging his father to do something for him. “Could we _please_..go home now?”

Chandler smiles awkwardly to the audience and helps Joey sit back down and squeezed his shoulder gently in support.

Later that evening at the rehearsal dinner. Chandler, Monica and Richard are sitting on a sofa. Chandler is covering his face in embarrassment because of the toast.  
  
“We were laughing,” Monica said Patting him on the knee, trying to be a good friend.  
  
“Out loud?”

“Well I didn’t want everyone to think I was stupid,” Monica admitted.

“Come on Chandler, your speech wasn't that bad,” Richard added in. “It could’ve been worse.”

“How?” Chandler asked in curiosity, but still humiliated that he made a fool of himself.

“It could've been the actual wedding day,” Monica finishes for Richard because she could tell he was struggling to come up with an answer.

“So how are you doing?” Chandler asked his friend who seemed a bit off.  
  
“My parents driving me crazy, but Ross is getting married,” Monica explained trying to put on a happy, believable act. “I’m happy.” A drunken man approaches the three of them. “I’m not going to let anything spoil that.”  
  
“I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man,” The Drunken man said.  
  
“Well, thanks, we like him,” Monica responded feeling awkward talking to a completely wasted stranger.  
  
“My god!!” The Drunken man said surprised. “You must have been a teenage when you had him.”

Monica stares straight forward after the comment as Richard put his arm around her shoulders and pulls her into a counselling embrace. Chandler patted her leg feeling sorry for her. The drunken man stumbles away, mumbling to himself.

“The guy was hammered, honey,” Richard said trying to make his girlfriend feel better about that offensive comment. “There’s no way, you look like Ross’s mother. You are so beautiful, smart and young and I love you.”

Richard kisses Monica on top of her head.  
  
“Then why would he say it?” Monica asked feeling a wave of depression as she leaned into Richard’s chest.

“Because he’s crazy, okay?” Chandler added in hopes to help Richard counsel Monica. “He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.”

“Ohh, Please!” Monica said breaking free from her boyfriend’s embrace and got up, swelling with tears. “I’m a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!”

Monica marches off to go get herself a few drinks as Richard gets up concerned as well as Chandler.

“Don't worry, I got this,” Richard said reassuringly with a smile.

“You sure?” Chandler asked.

Richard nods, “Yeah. I’ll be fine. Go have fun.”

Chandler nods as they walk away from each other. He walked around to find Joey, then finds him making out with a bridesmaid against a wall. He thought about going over there and breaking them up, but he doesn't. Looking heartbroken, Chandler turns around and walks towards his hotel room.

* * *

 

Later that night, Chandler is sitting on his bed watching TV trying to relax from having a terrible day so far. Joey walks in much to Chandler’s surprise.

“Hey,” Joey stated in disappointment.

“Hey Joe,” Chandler said standing up to greet his best friend. “Why are you back here? I thought you’d be off with that bridesmaid.”

“Yeah well, she kind of blew me off,” Joey explained putting his hands into his pockets. “I started talking about New York and she got bored and stormed off.”

“You’re not still feeling that homesick, are you?” Chandler asked trying to counsel Joey who signed depressed. “Because Joe, you have got to let that go. We will be home before you know it, y’know? Ross’ wedding is tomorrow and we’ll be on the plane that evening.”

“I know… but it’s still a long time,” Joey pouted like a child.

“Tomorrow evening is what you consider a _long_ time?” Chandler asked with a chuckle before Joey shot him a look. Chandler shook his head, “Right.. but Joe, honestly, I think things will be better in the morning. You should get some sleep.”

“It’s nine thirty,” Joey stated as Chandler stared at him for a moment.

“Touche.”

“Well thanks, man,” Joey finally said because this silence was beginning to turn awkward. “I mean, for everything. You’re a great friend.”

Joey goes to hug Chandler who awkwardly receives it. This hug seemed to last longer than their previous hugs. Chandler didn't know what or how this happened but when they were parting, Joey’s lips brushed against his.

Before he had a chance to react, Joey’s lips pressed against his in a more heated, passionate battle of lips and teeth. Chandler responded to the kisses only for a moment before realizing what he’s doing, then pushed Joey off him.

“W-what was that?!” Chandler said in such shock, as well as Joey.  They both began pacing the floor of their hotel room, trying to think but everything was turning to mush. “Did we just make out, did I just kiss a man? Of course I did, I kissed Joey of all people on this earth!” He pointed at Joey, disgusted. “Oh my god!”

“Well we aren't kissin’ anymore,” Joey said trying to sound disgusted as well.

“Thank god!” Chandler threw his hands up in the air, relieved. “I-I’m not gay, and you certainly aren't, either!”

“Of course not,” Joey lied, restraining from kissing Chandler again. “I guess we should just forget this ever happened.”

“I think that’d be a good idea,” Chandler said before they went back to complete, awkward silence.

It was only a moment of them trying not to look at each other, until they both strode up to one another and began making out again.

“Bed?” Chandler asked with a shy smile and blushes, embarrassed. Joey looks at Chandler and thinks he is absolutely adorable with his shyness and blushing. He nods and pulls Chandler to his bed closest to the door. They both sit down and start making out again, but this time more hot, more passionate.

“You know what… this doesn't feel weird,” Joey stated, catching his breath. “You are a better kisser than I thought.”

“Well I have kissed over four women…” Chandler started but got a cold glare from Joey. “I-I mean, four _people_ which in this case.."

Joey rolls his eyes and puts a hand behind Chandler’s neck making him trail off his sentence and blush a brighter shade of red.

“You are so cute.”

He pulls Chandler into another kiss that he melts right into as they start taking each other’s clothes off, praying that they aren't making a huge mistake sleeping together.

**_The next day.._ **

Before Chandler and Joey had a chance to open their eyes all the way, Ross bursted into their hotel room. Joey panicked and Chandler helped him under the covers. Ross was too excited to stop and realize that there is a big lump next to Chandler on the bed.

“I’m getting married today!” Ross cheers in a loud voice. “Whoo hoo!”

“Morning Ross,” Chandler said awkwardly trying to hide Joey under the covers.

“I’m getting married to-day!” Ross announced again trying to get Chandler’s attention.

“Ya you are!” Chandler replied forcing a smile on his face.

Ross ran out of their hotel room whooping and screaming his excitement down the halls. Once the door was slammed, Joey flew up from under the covers with complete bed hair, and appearing to be naked. Chandler and Joey take deep breaths to compose themselves and relieved that Ross didn't notice they slept together.

“Did you think he knew I was in here?” Joey asked awkwardly as Chandler shook his head.

“No way, he was way too psyched about the wedding to notice anything else,” Chandler explained as Joey sighed relieved. “Which we should be getting ready for.”

“Yeah…” Joey said, not wanting to leave the bed yet.

“So what was.. um, eventful,” Chandler admitted breaking the awkward silence. “Me trying to make you feel better… and um, I had a lousy day..”

“Yep,” Joey only managed to say as they got out of bed and changed into their wedding clothes in complete silence.

They left the hotel room and Chandler locked it behind him.

“What we did… it totally didn't mean anything,” Joey said quickly as Chandler nodded and huffs like he agreed with him.

“Absolutely not,” Chandler replied in denial for a moment.

“We’re gonna do it again later, though, right?” Joey asked no longer trying to hide his feelings.  
  
“Oh, yeah,” Chandler agrees.

* * *

 

Richard and Monica meet up with them in the lobby of the hotel. Monica seems to be looking better than she did last night.

“Hey Mon,” Chandler greets her with a warm hug. “How are you?”

“Oh better,” Monica said glancing at Richard and blushes hard, smiling and occasionally looking down at her feet.

“Richard gave you some sugar last night, huh?” Joey asked as Richard looked uncomfortably at him. Chandler shot him a glare and Monica shot her eyes up and slapped his arm.

“Joey!” Monica exclaimed, embarrassed.

“What?” Joey asked confused as everyone scoffs and shakes their heads. They were interrupted when the bellhop behind the counter got their attention.

“I have a phone call for Joey Tribbiani?”

“Oh that’s Pheebs!” Joey said receiving the phone and puts her on speaker. “Hey Pheebs, you’re on speaker!”

Everyone greets Phoebe through the phone.  
  
_“I don't care about how everyone is doing! We have an emergency. Okay? Rachel’s coming to London!”_  
  
“Ohh great!” Joey exclaimed as Monica, Richard and Chandler agree.  
  
_“No it’s not great. No, she’s coming to tell Ross that she loves him.”_

“Oh no!” Monica said as Richard and Chandler exchange worried glances. But Joey seems to not catch on as quickly as the others did.  
  
“But, he loves Emily?” Joey said confused as Monica and Chandler shoot him bemused looks.

  
_“I KNOW THAT!!! You guys have to stop her!! She’s going to ruin the wedding!”_

“Look, Phoebe is right,” Monica said concerned that Rachel may make the worst decision of her life. “We have to stop her, she cannot say anything to Ross or else the wedding will be screwed. She’s just going to mess with his head.”

Everyone else nods in agreement. Rachel can't go through with this or else she’s going to get hurt and rejected as well as confusing Ross in the process.

_“Okay, so I’m done my part, okay. It’s you guy’s responsibility now, okay. The burden is off me, right?”_

“Yes Phoebe, we’ll take care of this,” Richard said. “You can relax now.”

_“Great! So how is everything in London?”_

* * *

 

The guys hotel room. Monica walks through the door. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe, freaking out and sweating.  
  
“Hey,” Monica said with a smile.  
  
“Hey.”  
  
“Have you seen Joey?” Monica asked as Chandler begins to panic more. “I haven't seen him since we spoke to Phoebe. Do you suppose he hooked up with that bridesmaid that has been eyeing him?”  
  
“I’m not seeing Joey,” Chandler says very defensively and felt a wave of jealousy creeping over.  
  
“What?” Monica questioned very confused by his answer.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Look, we’ve got to find him, Rachel is on her way to London,” Monica explains brushing off Chandler’s weird behaviour all of the sudden. “I’m going to get Richard and we need to make a plan to stop Rachel once she gets here! Do you know where Joey is?”  
  
“No!! Okay!! What’s with the third degree?!” Chandler practically shouted at Monica who just stares blankly at him. “Why don’t you just shine a light in my eyes?!”

Monica looks totally confused then leaves the hotel room to get Richard.

* * *

 

Rachel eventually comes out to London. She finds Ross and doesn't tell him her feelings, completely heartbroken. The wedding begins and Joey escorts Phoebe on the phone down the alse and Ross looks very annoyed. Monica and Chandler walk down the alse and take their places. Richard smiles and gives Monica a little wave as she smiles back.

Chandler and Joey stand side by side, awkwardly.

“What we did last night was....” Chandler whispered quietly unnoticed by Ross.  
  
“Stupid,” Joey finishes, staring straight ahead acting casual.  
  
“Totally crazy stupid,” Chandler replied as he nods his head at the people seated.  
  
“What were we thinkin’?” Joey asks through his teeth forcing a smile at the audience.  
  
“We’re still doing it again tonight, right?”  Chandler asks after the moment of silence and Joey nods instantly.

“Oh yeah. Definitely.”  
  
They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Ross’s side. Rachel sighs close to tears as Richard comforts her by placing a hand on her leg and rubbing it slowly. She weakly smiled at him before looking at Ross and Emily.

“Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily…” The Minister began facing Emily.

“I, Emily…” Emily said.  
  
“Take thee Ross…”  
  
“Take thee Ross…”  
  
“As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts us.”  
  
“As my lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, until death parts us.”  
  
“Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross…” The minister began facing Ross now.  
  
“I Ross…” Ross said.  
  
“Take thee, Emily…”  
  
“Take thee, Rachel…” Ross mistakenly said with a smile. All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says, “Emily. A slight awkward chuckle. “Emily.”  
  
The minister is looking and feeling awkward. He looks towards Emily.

“Uhh...Shall I go on?”  
  
Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her, including Richard who seemed concerned.


	2. The One After Ross Says Rachel

The band starts to play, and the recessional starts. Ross tries to take Emily’s hand, but she snatches it away from him.  
  
“Well, that went well,” Joey says sarcastically standing by Chandler, “Yeah.”   
  
“It could’ve been worse, he could’ve shot her,” Chandler replied sarcastically as Joey sighs.   
  
Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.

* * *

 

Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, Monica and Richard are standing outside the doorway.  
  
“You’ve spoiled everything! It’s like a nightmare!” Emily yelled from inside the bathroom with Ross. “My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!”   
  
“Hey, no matter what happens with Ross and Emily, we still get cake right?” Joey asked quietly to the gang who gave him dirty looks and glares.

Ross exits the bathroom.   
  
“That-that-that’s all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie,” Ross answered, freaked out and unable to think about how to fix this mess. “I’ll be right out here.”

Emily slams the door in his face, absolutely furious.

“She’s just fixing her makeup.”

  
“I hate you!” Emily screamed in both anger and devastation.   
  
“And, I love you!” Ross called back trying to lighten the tension with his wife.

The gang are giving him sympathetic looks feeling awful for Ross.

* * *

 

Later on at the wedding reception, Chandler looks around and slowly walks up beside Joey, trying to act casual so no one would catch on and question them.   
  
“Hey,” Chandler says quietly, glancing around the room to make sure no one is looking at them.   
  
“Hey,” Joey answered, grabbing some food and put it on his plate.   
  
“Oh wow, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and…” Chandler begins to explain to Joey. He really didn't want to cancel tonight, but his friendship with Joey means more to him, and didn’t want to lose that. “Ugh, I’m just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.”   
  
“I know,” Joey agrees, still looking forward, trying not to attract attention. “How could we have let this happen?”

“Ten times!”  
  
“Ugh! Well, y’know, we were away…” Joey says but Chandler interrupts him.   
  
“In a foreign country…” Chandler finished, sounding disappointed.   
  
“I blame London,” Joey said taking more food, not realizing he is over filling his plate.   
  
“Bad London!” Chandler said sarcastically. He takes a spoon and smacks the turkey. 

“So look umm, while we’re st-still in London, I mean…” Joey starts after some long minutes of awkward silence. He kept his voice down and gave him a sexy smirk which he knows that Chandler can't resist. “We can keep doing it right?”  
  
Chandler tried to avoid that sexy smirk and his face lightly turns into a shade of pink, casually looking down at his feet, “Well, I don’t see that we have a choice. But, when we’re back home, we don’t do it.”   
  
“Only here,” Joey agrees with a nod.   
  
“Y’know, I saw a wine cellar downstairs…” Chandler starts blushing even more; his face turning into a light shade of red.   
  
“I’ll meet you there in two minutes,” Joey instantly responded putting his food down. He grabbed a chicken wing and shoved it in his mouth.   
  
“K!”   
  
He throws down his plate and runs to the wine cellar, and Joey is about to follow him but realizes he needs some lotion or a condom. He runs into the next room quickly to try and find something. 

Richard and Monica are standing together talking with their plates of food. Rachel walks up to them.

“Mon, honey, I gotta ask you something,” Rachel said and glanced up at Richard. “You too, Richard. Ross said my name up there, I mean, come on, I just can’t pretend that didn’t happen can I?”

“Honey, I don't think that meant anything,” Monica admitted.

“He wouldn't have said my name if he didn't love me,” Rachel protested as Monica and Richard glanced at each other. “Guys, what should I do?”

“Nothing,” Monica said.

“What?” Rachel asked confused about why Monica told her not to do anything. “I think I’m just gonna talk to Ross about what he think it meant.”

Rachel tried to walk away but Monica grabbed her arm and pulled her back.  
  
“Rachel, no, he’s married,” Monica said firmly, but yet softly.

“He’s married now,” Richard added in as Rachel looked up at him. “If you don’t realize that, we can’t help you.”

“You have to let him go, Rach,” Monica said with her voice cracking a bit. “It’s too late. You need to move on.”

“Okay, you’re right,” Rachel said holding back her tears as Monica rubbed her arm. “You’re both right. You guys can’t help me.”

Rachel marched away feeling a tear trickle down her cheek.

Joey is running up to Chandler who emerges from the wine cellar. He has a condom in his hand and shoves it in his pocket.  
  
“We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar, why are you back?” Joey asked impatiently tapping is foot.   
  
Chandler takes a deep breath, “Forget it, that’s off.”   
  
“Why?!” Joey asked frustrated.

Mr. Waltham walks into the room from the wine cellar completely drunk and wasted.   
  
“The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes…” He stuttered drunk before stumbling off. Joey and Chandler look at each other and groaned. Joey grabs a piece of chicken and starts eating it instead.   
  
“Joey, what are you doing?” Monica asked walking over to the boys while Richard is talking to her parents. “You promised Phoebe you wouldn’t eat meat until she has the babies!”   
  
“Well um, I uh…” Joey said almost at a loss for words, beginning to panic. “I figured we’re in another country, so it doesn’t count!” 

“The man’s got a point!” Chandler chims in equally as panicked as Joey nodded, forcing a smile on his face. “We are in a foreign… romantic-- I-I mean, um, fun country! I-It doesn’t count, Mon! So, s-stop asking so many questions!”

“Ok…” Monica said bemused after a moment of awkward silence, and walked away.

Ross and Rachel meet up and talk about how saying “Rachel” at the altar didn't mean a thing and in denial of their feelings. Joey finds them and approaches the discussion.

“Hey, the band’s ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so…” Joey said, feeling slightly awkward.  
  
“Oh! Oh-oh, the band’s ready! Well, I-I-we gotta do what the band says…” Ross answers sarcastically then turns to a fit of anger. “I don’t care about the stupid band!”   
  
“You spit on me, man,” Joey said annoyed, then wipes his face in disgust.   
  
Ross’ face softens, “Look, I’m sorry."   
  
“Emily is kinda taking a long time, huh?” Joey replied, feeling sorry for Ross. 

Rachel forces herself to laugh, trying to throw in some humor to loosen the awkward tension between the three of them.

“Y’know when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.”  
  
“Oh, right!” Ross agrees with an awkward chuckle.   
  
“Get the hell out of there, y’know?” Rachel continues with a smirk.   
  
They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom. Ross runs over to the bathroom in a panic attack, banging on the bathroom door.   
  
“Emily? Emily? I’m coming in!” Ross shouts, freaking out. He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.   
  
“Well, look at that, same thing,” Rachel says, surprised.

* * *

 

Later on at the London Marriott, Joey and Chandler are walking to their room. They are walking down the hallway until they reach their door. Joey grabs the key from his pocket.

“Listen, in the middle of everything if I scream the word, "Yippee!" just ignore me,” Chandler explains as Joey rolls his eyes and chuckles. He opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on a bed.   
  
“Oh my God, Rachel!” Joey said surprised and starting to panic a bit, not really knowing what to say. “Hi!”   
  
“Oh, hello Rachel,” Chandler says quietly, putting his hands on Joey’s shoulders, beginning to sweat.   
  
“Ross said my name. Okay? My name!” Rachel said frustrated, slapping her hands on the bed and stood up. “Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me!”

The boys just stare at her, dumbstruck. They are unable to think of anything to say at this point. But they don't believe that Ross still loves her.

“Okay, don’t believe me, I know I’m right,” Rachel finally said breaking the silence. “Do you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?”  
  
“Yes, we do,” Chandler said, struggling with words that Rachel would believe. “But, we have to change first.”

“Yes, I want to change,” Joey added in forcing a smile on his face. “And why-why don’t you go down and get us a table?”  
  
“Yeah, we’ll be down in like five minutes,” Chandler said before Joey got annoyed and elbows him really hard in the stomach. Chandler moans in slight pain. 

“Fifteen minutes,” Joey said quickly through gritted teeth as Chandler tried to hide his red face.   
  
“Okay,” Rachel said before the the phone rings and she sits down and answers it.   
  
“Hello? Oh, Pheebs!”  Rachel said with excitement and faces the men. “It’s Phoebe!”   
  
“Oh, yay…” Chandler said depressed but unnoticed by Rachel.   
  
“Great…” Joey finishes also depressed.   
  
Rachel starts to ramble on about how Ross fell in love with her and how she still thinks he loves her.

“Okay, Pheebs, y’know what, let’s look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then…”  
  
“Hey, listen, why don’t we go change in Monica and Richard’s room?” Chandler says quietly to Joey.   
  
“But our clothes are—ohh!” Joey then realizes what he means then they both leave quickly as Rachel is still rambling on.

* * *

Joey opens the door slowly to see if Monica or Richard is there and after seeing that they aren’t, ushers Chandler into the room, closes the door, and the security bar. They both start to frantically rip each other’s clothes off, but are interrupted when Monica tries to open the door.  
  
“Hey, let me in!” Monica exclaimed annoyed. “I need to get changed!”   
  
“Well, I’ve got a-a girl in here…” Chandler said in a panic tone as Joey slapped his arm and gave him a dirty look.   
  
“No you don’t, I just saw you go in our room with Joey!” Monica said confused and angry that she can't get into her own room.   
  
“Well, we’re-we’re hanging out in here!” Joey tried to say, really hoping that Monica would just leave. “But, what if we’re watching a movie in here?”   
  
“Why can’t you do that in your own room?” Monica asked standing outside her hotel room.

“Rachel is in our room talking to Phoebe on the phone,” Chandler replied. “We’re watching a movie, Mon! Come on!”   
  
“Which we are, and-and we already paid for it,” Joey said, grabbing thw movie off the counter. “It’s My Giant, my favorite movie!”

“I don't care, guys!” Monica said angry as the men moaned. “I want to get in my room! Richard will be here in a minute! Let me in!”

Monica starts banging on the door. Joey and Chandler look at each other and groan annoyed.

* * *

 

Chandler and Joey are still looking for a place, so they enter the honeymoon suite.  
  
“You really think this is okay, Joe?” Chandler asked, blushing of how gorgeous the room is.   
  
“Well, Ross and Emily aren’t gonna use it,” Joey explained approaching Chandler and put his hands on his arms. Chandler tried to ignore that smirk again.   
  
“Y’know, I-I don’t know if I feel right about this,” Chandler said desperately restraining from kissing Joey’s lips.   
  
"Oh Chandler, you are so adorable, look, his is the honeymoon suite,” Joey stated rubbing Chandler’s arms as his face turned more red. Only Joey can make him blush that hard. “The room expects sex. The room would be disappointed if it didn’t get sex. All of the other honeymoon suites would think it was a loser.”   
  
“Okay,” Chandler said agreeing with him now. He didn't care about Ross or Emily, he just wanted to have sex again.   
  
“Okay!”   
  
They both run to rip the covers off the bed, but are interrupted by Ross bursting into the room unannounced.   
  
“Emily?!” Ross shouts in a panic.   
  
“Nope, not under here!” Chandler exclaimed.   
  
“You didn’t find her?” Joey asked, occasionally glancing at Chandler, trying the best he can to hide his sexual feelings.   
  
“No, I’ve looked everywhere!” Ross said in disappointment, emotionally distraught.   
  
“Well, you couldn’t have looked everywhere or else you would’ve found her!” Chandler exclaimed trying to come up with an alternate plan to get Ross to leave. 

“Yeah, I think you should keep looking!” Joey stated, catching onto Chandler’s plan.  
  
“Yeah, for about 30 minutes,” Chandler replied looking at Joey who smirked.   
  
“Or 45,” Joey suggested which made Chandler blush again. “In 45 minutes you can find her twice!”

Ross rolls his eyes and sighs very tired. He is done running around the hotel trying to find his wife. He is exhausted and emotional with no energy to walk around shouting for Emily.  
  
“No! For all I know, she’s trying to find me but couldn’t because I kept moving around,” Ross replied stubbornly as he approached the bed. “No, from now on, I’m staying in one place.” He sits down on the bed. “Right here.”

Joey and Chandler try to leave the hotel room but Ross guilted them into staying to comfort him.

* * *

 

Ross and Emily’s room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Joey’s lap and his feet on Chandler’s lap. Joey and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.  
  
“We have to leave for New York in an hour,” Chandler says in annoyment that they couldn't find one place in the whole hotel without being interrupted.   
  
“I know, I’ve been looking at those doors, they look pretty soundproof, don’t you think?” Joey asked Chandler who looked at him completely shocked of what he was thinking.   
  
“We can’t do that that’s insane,” Chandler replied. “I mean ‘A’ he could wake up and ‘B’ y’know, let’s go for it.”   
  
They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but there’s a knock on the door that awakens him.   
  
“Em-Emily?” Ross said getting off Joey and Chandler, looking around for her. “Em-Emily?” He runs to the door. “Emily!”

Ross opens the door to reveal the Walthams standing outside, then turns depressed. They explain that Emily isn't here, and Ross insists that he is still going on the trip to Athens, and Emily can show up if she wants to.

* * *

 

A 747 somewhere over the North Atlantic, Joey and Chandler are sitting in first class, depressed that they never had another moment in London again.  
  
“Y’know, maybe it’s best that we never got to do it again,” Joey said breaking the awkward silence between them.   
  
“Yeah, it kinda makes that-that one night special,” Chandler replied before they both make upset faces. He then realizes something and continues, “Y’know, technically we still are over international waters.”   
  
“I’m gonna go to the bathroom, maybe I’ll see you there in a bit?” Joey questioned getting impatient and excited to be with Chandler alone.   
  
“Kay!” 

Joey gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Rachel sitting in Joey’s seat.  
  
“Can I ask you something?” Rachel asked, still obsessed with her love for Ross.   
  
“Uhh, no,” Chandler replies, stuttering his words.   
  
“Ross said my name at the altar,” Rachel began to ramble to Chandler. “I mean, I’ve rethinking about what that meant, and um, does it mean he still loves me? He wouldn’t have said my name if I didn't mean _something_ to him, right?”   
  
“I-I guess--"   
  
“I mean, Ross and I have have this huge history, and he was obsessed with me since high school,” Rachel continues to ramble on about Ross. “Do you think Ross will leave Emily for me?”   
  
“Yes.”   
  
“Hm, thanks Chandler,” Rachel said feeling satisfied with his answer, and smiles small.   
  
“Okay,” Chandler said and starts to get up from his seat.   
  
“But what if Ross decides to stay with Emily, though?”

* * *

 

Time lapse, Chandler is finishing his third little bottle of booze as Rachel is still rambling on and on. It’s driving him absolutely crazy, just shut up and take a breath.  
  
“I know I still love Ross, but if I tell him, will he leave Emily? Will he get a divorce, or annulment?” Rachel asks Chandler who heavily sighs. “I don't want Ross to be unhappy but I do want to tell him how I feel so he can have all the facts!”   
  
Joey walks back to his seat and finds Rachel sitting in it. Chandler gives him an apologetic look.   
  
“Hey, Joey, wow you’ve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour,” Rachel says surprised.   
  
“I know!” Joey said through gritted teeth, staring at Chandler clearly annoyed.   
  
“Did you sneak the flight attendant back there?” Rachel teased with a smirk.

“Yeah, that sounds like something I would do,” Joey replied with a huff.

* * *

 

Phoebe is eating cereal from a bowl she has balanced on her stomach as Joey, Chandler, Richard and Monica return.  
  
“Hey!”   
  
“Hey!”   
  
“Hi!”   
  
They all hug.   
  
“You ate meat!” Phoebe exclaimed as Joey looks shocked. To Chandler. “You had sex!”

They’re shocked.  
  
“No I didn’t!” Chandler stuttered, panicking.   
  
“This pregnancy is throwing me all off,” Phoebe said.   
  
“All right, I’m gonna go say hi the chick and the duck,” Joey stated elbowing Chandler in the arm to make him get the hint.

“Oh Yeah, me too!”   
  
Phoebe grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment followed by Chandler, leaving Monica to unpack her things in her apartment. Richard goes back to his place to unpack. 

Joey and Chandler enter their apartment and close the door. There is an awkward silence in the air.

“Well, we certainly are alone,” Joey stated, feeling a bit uncomfortable.   
  
“Yes, good thing we have that, ‘Not in New York’ rule,” Chandler said with a forced chuckle, digging his hands deep into his pockets.   
  
“Right,” Joey said rubbing the back of his neck. “Umm, listen since we’re-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, bein’ homesick for New York and stuff…”   
  
“Right.” 

“Well, an-anyway, I just… I guess I’m just trying to say thanks,” Joey said glancing at Chandler, restraining himself from kissing him because they are alone.  
  
“No problem, man,” Chandler said still trying to maintain that forced smile. “I’m always going to be there for you.”   
  
“Me too,” Joey said with a warm smile. They pull themselves into a long hug. 

“All right, I gotta go unpack,” Joey said quickly removing himself off Chandler and grabbed his suitcase, never daring to look back or else things would escalate further than a close friendship. 

“Okay,” Chandler said quietly to himself watching Joey walk to his room. After he closes the door of his bedroom, Chandler starts to follow him, but thinks better of it and stops. He turns around and kicks over his suitcase in disappointment.   
  
Chandler turns around to find Joey emerging from his bedroom and walks quickly over to him with desire in his eyes.

“I’m still on London time, does that count?” Joey asked desperately. 

“Oh that counts!” Chandler practically said in the same level of desire as Joey.   
  
“Oh, good!” Joey said before walking up to Chandler, and kissed him, hard. It started out as a rough kiss, but it slowed down into a warm, passionate kiss. They both stumbled backwards towards Joey’s room and shut the door behind them. 


	3. The One With All The Kissing

Chandler and Joey are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.

“Are you worried that this is a little… y’know--” Joey tries to say but Chandler cuts him off.

“Yeah, this might be too much…” Chandler says in agreement as Joey nods They stay in awkward silence, holding onto their glasses.

“Ehh, we’re just all liquored up,” Joey said as Chandler nods.

They look at each other in desire and slowly lean in to kiss, but they are interrupted when Monica knocks on the door.

“Hey, it’s me,” Monica says outside the door. “I’m coming in.”

Joey freaks out and quickly dives under the water as Monica enters. She looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.

“I've had a very long, hard day,” Chandler said awkwardly and forces a smile as Monica shakes her head, brushing off her confusion.

“Ok… anyways, Richard and I are going to order some chicken for dinner,” Monica explains, still a little uncomfortable. “Do you want any?”

“Ahh, no thanks, no chicken, bye-bye then,” Chandler said quickly, stuttering his words. He knew Joey needed to come up for air at some point or else they are going to be caught if Monica doesn’t leave.

“Ok..” Monica turns to leave but stops at the door.

“You sure? Some extra crispy? Dirty rice? Beans?” Monica asked.

“For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Mon!” Chandler snaps at Monica feeling Joey pinch his leg really hard, losing his breath underwater.

“All right, enjoy your bath, bubble boy!” Monica shoots back, insulted by her friends snarky comment at her. She storms out and shuts the door firmly behind her. Joey comes up for air, catching his breath.

“Are you okay? I'm so sorry, she wouldn't leave,” Chandler said feeling guilty that Joey had to hold his breath for that long. “She kept asking me about chicken.”

“Chicken?” Joey asked before slapping Chandler’s arm and gave him a look. “You know I love chicken, man! Why did you send her away?!”

Chandler rolls his eyes, not in the mood to fight with him and calls Monica back, “Hey Mon, you still here?”

Joey goes back underwater as Monica re-enters the bathroom with an annoyed expression on her face, crossing her arms.

“Yeah, can I get a 6-piece, some coleslaw, some beans, and a diet Coke--” Chandler starts to give her an order and then he yelps in pain as Joey grabs him underwater. “Regular Coke.”

“Fine,” Monica said annoyed as she left the bathroom to go place the order at her apartment with Richard.

* * *

 

Chandler, Joey, Richard and Monica are eating breakfast at her apartment she shares with Rachel. Phoebe enters the apartment, 9 months pregnant now with her brother’s babies. Ross comes in shortly after Phoebe’s arrival. Rachel is coming back from Greece, and Monica explains that her plane got delayed. Ross is worried that Rachel is going to be mad at him for leaving her alone in Greece. Rachel shows up, putting on a happy act in front of Ross, even though she is extremely pissed at him for abandoning her. After Ross seems to think everything is ok between the them, he leaves to go mail Emily some flowers as an apology for everything that happened since the wedding.

“Rach, that's great!” Monica exclaims in a happy mood for her friend. “ It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!”

“What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me!” Rachel yelled in devastation and very emotionally distraught, starting to ramble on about her terrible trip to Greece. “Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why you cry?" I mean, it was so humiliating. I felt like such an idiot!”

Rachel begins to pace the floor in emotional anger, “I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.”

“Oh that's not true,” Richard said sympathetically for Rachel.

“Yes it is! It is true!” Rachel snapped back as everyone looked at her feeling sorry for her. “I went, I went after Ross in stupid London.”

“London is stupid!” Phoebe said in anger as well because she didn’t get to go to London with her friends, sitting down on the couch in the living room. “Stupid!”

“Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me,” Rachel explains, giving Phoebe the power to make her life decisions.

“Oh… No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life,” Phoebe said refusing to accept Rachel’s offer.

“I'll do it!” Monica exclaimed in a loud and excited voice from her chair in the kitchen.

“That's fine,” Rachel agrees. “So Monica, you are now in control of my love life.”

“Okay, I gotta go to work,” Chandler said standing up and gives Joey a rather passionate kiss as Rachel, Monica, Richard and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.

“And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back,” he says. He goes over to Rachel gives her the same treatment he gave Joey, only Rachel is shocked.

“Monica, congratulations on controlling Rachel’s life!” Chandler says approaching Monica and gives her a kiss as well. Monica is shocked, and her eyes widen. She looks over at Richard who shrugs, just as amazed as her.

“Pheebs!” Chandler announces. He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned. “Always a pleasure.”

Chandler struts out leaving the girls and Richard to stare at each other.

“Is it just me, or was that really strange?” Richard said, breaking the awkward silence.

“I-I, I better get going…” Joey stuttered feeling very uncomfortable and leaves the apartment.

* * *

 

Rachel is upset, and Monica insists that she goes to talk to the guy she flirted with before. Phoebe is still upset that she couldn’t go to London with her friends. Rachel eventually comes back and got herself a date for tomorrow night. Gunther goes up to the guy and holds a sign that reads, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone."

* * *

 

Chandler enters his apartment and finds Joey waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start making out passionately and full of desire to have sex.

“What took you so long?” Joey asks breaking the first round of passionate kissing, staring at Chandler’s eyes.

“I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow,” Chandler says in a flirting tone, holding Joey’s arms with his hands.

“Oh, good,” Joey replied, responding to his flirting, and threw himself on Chandler, planting a passionate kiss on his lips.

They start making out again and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Joey, panicking. Why the hell do the girls come over to their apartment for once?!

“I have to go back to work now!” Chandler said thinking on his feet, and faces Rachel.” Rach.” He goes over, grabs her, and kisses her. “Pheebs. After a moment while he decides how to kiss her around her belly, grabs her and kisses her. “Mon.” He grabs Monica and plants a kiss on her too.

“What the hell was that?!” Monica exclaims, shocked.

“Probably some y'know, European good-bye thing he picked up in London,” Joey said, stuttering his words came up with the first excuse that came to his mind.

“That's not European!” Rachel said confused.

“Well, it felt French,” Phoebe added in as Joey nods, thinking about the kisses he shared with Chandler and tried not to blush.

* * *

 

Rachel is comforting Ross in the living room of her and Monica’s house, and then Monica pokes her head in, holding the laundry.

“Rach, can I talk to for just a minute?” Monica asked. “I-I dropped some socks.”

“Yeah.”

Rachel goes out to join her in the hall and starts looking for the dropped socks.

“What is the matter with you, do you want to fall into the trap?” Monica scolds Rachel who is trying her best to acknowledge her. “Do you want to fall into the trap?!”

“Ohh!” Rachel said trying to change the subject. “You did not drop any socks!”

“I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off!” Monica exclaimed, in an irritated tone, holding her laundry, continuing to scold Rachel. “I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?”

“Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted…tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him,” Rachel said in a quiet voice, not looking at her, fidgeting with her fingers.

Monica gasps, shocked, “What?!! You cannot tell him that!!”

“Why? Why not?! People love to hear that!” Rachel snapped back at Monica.

“I make the decisions, and I say no,” Monica barked, angry with Rachel.

“Well, y'know what, no, you do not make my decisions because y'know what, you're fired!” Rachel snapped back at Monica who gasped again.

“You can't fire me!” Monica said ambushing Rachel. “I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!”

“Well…” Rachel said trying to think of a comeback. At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.

“Rachel!!” Monica yelled, banging on the door with her fist. “Come on! Let me in!"

“Hey honey, why are you screaming?” Richard said, as he walked up the stairs and down the hall to Monica.

“Rachel locked me out!” Monica snapped, angry and delighted to see her boyfriend. She turns around and continues to bang on the door. “Rachel! Let me in, Rachel!”

“Calm down sweetie, I have a key,” Richard says as he gets it from his pocket and unlocks the door Monica and Richard enter the apartment and find Ross and Rachel in the kitchen.

“Thank you, honey,” Monica said, then turns to Rachel. “Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?”

“No,” Rachel said with a smirk, crossing her arms.

“I really need to talk to you,” Monica replied in a irritated tone, oblivious to Ross, but not Richard.

“Well, then talk!” Rachel announces with a smile, knowing the trapped Monica on the spot.

“Okay, I will,” Monica said going along with Rachel’s game. “Remember that thing that we just discussed that you wanted to do?”

“Yes!” Rachel replied.

“What thing?” Ross asked completely confused about what is going on between Rachel and Monica.

“Ross, I really don't think you should--" Richard starts trying to also keep Ross from getting hurt, but Monica interrupts him.

“Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons,” Monica lies, to cover the truth but also hinting her thoughts to Rachel, and Ross. “Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might..” Turns to look at Ross. “End up hurting!”

Ross looks dumbstruck, looking at his sister’s firm gaze at him as if she was trying to tell him something. He decides to let it go because he really doesn't know what is going on.

“Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky,” Ross said as Monica scoffs and Rachel smirks at er. “I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily.” Looks at the rose mulch. “My God, think of the massacre.”

Ross walks away out of sight that he can't hear the gang in the kitchen. There is silence before Rachel speaks up.

“I'm gonna do it,” Rachel says going after Ross but Monica stops her.

“All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea,” Monica said begging Rachel to listen to her. “Because I bet you, you can't.”

“But I…” Rachel tries to protest but Richard cuts in.

“I agree with Monica,” Richard said as Rachel looks up at him. “You should find someone that agrees with you, first. It’s the right thing to do.”

“All right, fine,” Rachel said with a huff.

* * *

 

Rachel decides to tell Ross how she feels, and things go better than expected. Later at Monica and Rachel's, the gang is about ready to leave for Atlantic City.

“Okay, let's go!” Ross announced excitedly.

“Atlantic City!” Chandler shouts.

“Atlantic City, baby! Let's roll some bones!” Phoebe said pulling her suitcase along, then faces Joey. “Hey Joey, high-five for rolling bones!”

They high-five and howl, but Phoebe suddenly stops and the guys gasp and retreat in shock.

“Uh, Pheebs, you're leaking?” Joey said, not sure what to do or think.

“Oh my God!” Monica said happily. “You're water broke!”

“Ohh!” Ross, Chandler and Joey said simultaneously, now understanding what is happening with Phoebe.

“All right,” Phoebe replied, brushing off the fact that her water broke. “Well, don't worry, I call shotgun!”

Phoebe starts out the door but the gang stops her by shouting, “Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Wait-wait!”

“Pheebs!” Chandler said soothingly. “We have to take you to the hospital now!”

“Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now,” Ross added in firmly.

Rachel decided to add in some humor to loosen the tension between all of six of them.

“High-five, the babies are coming!”

They all high-five. That seemed to do the trick!

“Wait, wait, remember when my water broke?” Phoebe asked excitedly.

They all high-five again.

* * *

 

The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Joey hold back.

“I can't believe Phoebe's gonna have her babies,” Joey stated, reaching out to hold Chandler’s hand.

“I know, it's beautiful,” Chandler replied with a smile. “Amazing.”

There was a moment of silence between them before they strode up to each other, and started making out. The kisses were hot and passionate.

“Y'know what else I can't believe?” Chandler asked after he broke the first round if kissing. Joey put his hands on his shoulders and pressed against him in desire. Chandler put his hands on Joey’s waist. “I had to kiss Phoebe, Monica and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.”

“Do you know anything about women?” Joey asked.

“No.”

“Well, it doesn't matter in this case,” Joey said leaning in to kiss Chandler again. Chandler closed the gap and pressed their lips together as they began making out again.


End file.
